Caught in the Crowd
by OnTheWinterSolstice
Summary: "If I could go back and do it again, I'd be someone you could call friend. Please, please, believe that I'm sorry..." Arthur is singing at a pub when old memories return.  A/N: I couldn't think of a better summary...read please!


**And because I'm freaking OBSESSED with one-shots, and pretty much every song makes me think of **_**Merlin, **_**here is Caught in the Crowd. I highly suggest listening to the song, which is sung by the amazing Kate Miller-Heidke.**

**Listen to it. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin or the song Caught in the Crowd.**

Arthur coughed nervously into the microphone.

"Um, hi."

A few giggles bubbled up from the audience. He placed his shaky fingers on the bone white keys and stroked them gently. Just touching the instrument calmed him down somewhat.

"This is my first time here at the Bad Wolf Pub, so I'm pretty nervous. Bear with me."

More giggles, louder this time. A few people aww'd at his honesty. He half-grinned at the people sitting at the small tables.

"This is the very first song I ever wrote, and I've never performed it before. I hope you like it."

A smattering of applause swept through the bar.

Arthur pressed his fingers to the keys and began playing. It was deliberate, and sad, and a little hesitant. When he began to sing, his voice sounded the same.

"_There was a guy at my school when I was in high school,  
We'd ride side by side in the morning on our bicycles,  
Never even spoken or faced each other,  
But on the last hill we'd race each other…"_

Arthur knew this song so well he could sing it backwards. And even though he was performing, his mind began to wander. Back to that terrible time of his life.

Arthur was the star athlete of every sports team at Camelot High School. Well, not every team. He didn't bother himself with gymnastics or billiards—because, much to his disgust, that counted as a physical education class. So even though he was rich and could afford a limo to drive him every day to school, he biked. It was the best bike on the market, sturdy and built for speed. He called it Excalibur.

Every day he raced past the geekiest and goofiest guy in school. All pale skin, lanky limbs, and dark hair.

A few times Arthur slowed down just enough to glimpse the boy's face, and when he did he received a small smile in return. He just sneered and sped up.

Until one day he decided to keep pace with the dark-haired boy. No one said anything; they didn't even look at each other.

The last hill that led into the school's parking lot was the steepest hill in the city. Without even realizing it, they began racing each other, allowing the rush of wind to graze through their hair and leave it an untidy mess.

Arthur won every time.

_"When we reached the racks we'd each go our own way,  
I wasn't in his classes, I thought that was absurd,  
When we finally got to speak he just stared at his feet,  
And said that his name was a kind of bird…"_

He never spoke to the mysterious boy, though. They'd chain up, Arthur would join his loyal followers and the other boy would wander off with two girls. He recognized one of them as Morgana Fay, a gorgeous girl he used to date. It hadn't ended well; too much ego in one room.

Arthur searched for the boy in all of his classes, but never found him.

One day he was about to ride his bike back home when the dark-haired boy appeared beside him and began unlocking his own bike.

Arthur stopped, holding out his hand. "Arthur Pendragon."

The boy resembled a deer caught in headlights as he reached up and shook the offered hand. "Merlin Emrys," he whispered, keeping his gaze on the ground. Arthur frowned at the boy's shyness, but didn't press it. __

"I was young and caught in the crowd,  
I didn't know then what I know now.  
I was dumb, and I was proud,  
And I'm sorry.  
If I could go back do it again,  
I'd be someone you could call friend,  
Please, please believe that I'm sorry…"

Arthur cringed and swallowed thickly.__

"Well he was quite a small guy, kinda shy and quiet,  
When the kids called him weird he didn't try to deny it,  
Every lunchtime he'd spend walking by himself,  
Round the boundary of the grounds 'til he heard the bell…"

They never spoke again until much, much later.

Arthur's friends asked him why he had talked to the _nerd, _and Arthur glared.

"What do you mean?" he demanded.

"Come on, mate, he's a _freak," _Valiant said. "He just sits around and draws and doesn't talk to anyone."

Arthur shook his head. Many people repeated this not-so-new information to him throughout the day.

At lunch, he saw Merlin for the first time during school hours. He was wandering aimlessly around the yard, ignoring the pointing fingers and muttered insults. He had a sketch pad hooked under one arm, and a sharpened pencil behind one ear. He saw Valiant and a couple other guys approach the unfortunate Merlin and say something that Arthur couldn't hear. Merlin rolled his eyes and turned right around. Valiant advanced, but just then the bell rang. He sneered and stalked toward the school with the others in tow as Merlin headed toward the front doors, where Arthur had been standing during the exchange. He quickly dashed inside so as not to be seen.

_"Well one day I found him, joined him on his walk,  
We were silent for a while until we started to talk,  
I told him my family were fighting in court,  
He said his step-dad and him always fought…"_

Arthur noticed a pattern. Every day, about 15 minutes into the lunch break, Merlin would begin his expedition of the grounds. One day Arthur finally worked up the courage to approach him. He met his stride, keeping quiet, allowing the sun to pat his cheeks affectionately and inhaling the scent of freshly-cut grass. He smiled. It was one of his favorite smells in the world; it reminded him of long afternoons spent playing baseball and football and rugby with his best mates.

"Merlin." It wasn't a question, more like a statement to fill the empty air.

"Arthur."

More silence. "I'm rich," Arthur said. It was all he could think of.

Merlin stopped in his tracks and stared dumbfounded at the blonde. "Well God save the Queen!" he muttered sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

Arthur was momentarily confused by the mocking comment, but it quickly melted into anger. "My dad is the best lawyer in London," he stated proudly. "I'm going to follow in his footsteps one day."

Merlin glanced at him and continued walking. Arthur jogged to catch up with his long strides, dry leaves crunching cacophonously under his feet. He had nothing else to say, so he didn't.

"My step-dad and I fight all the time," Merlin suddenly blurted. "That's why I'm so quiet. I feel like I can never really fit in."

Arthur frowned. "Step-dad?"

Merlin sighed sadly. "My dad left my mum and me when I was four. Mum just remarried, although I don't know why. She doesn't even like the guy."

"My mum died giving birth to me," Arthur said softly.

Merlin studied him, but didn't say anything. Arthur expected him to say "I'm sorry," like everyone else. When he didn't, he supposed it was because he had also heard it enough and didn't like it either.__

"We talked about music, he was into punk,  
Told me all the bands that I liked were junk,  
I said I'd never heard the songs the Sex Pistols sang,  
I laughed back at him and then the bell rang…"

Arthur joined him for another walk the next day. They talked about school and television and music.

"The Sex Pistols?" Arthur asked.

Merlin gaped at him. "Well God save the Queen!" A grin slipped into place as he said, "You've never heard them? They're only one of the most famous bands _ever!"_

"I listen to more contemporary music," Arthur said. Merlin rolled his eyes. "Like?"

Arthur listed off a bunch of bands, but Merlin waved his hand dismissively. "All rubbish."

Arthur glared, but his face broke into a smile as Merlin grinned mischievously at him.

The bell rang, and the two boys separated. They didn't notice Arthur's so-called friends glaring after them.__

"I was young and caught in the crowd,  
I didn't know then what I know now,  
I was dumb, and I was proud,  
And I'm sorry.  
If I could go back do it again,  
I'd be someone you could call friend,  
Please, please believe that I'm sorry…

"It was after school in the afternoon,  
The corridors were crowded as we came out of the rooms,  
Three guys I knew pushed him into the cement,  
Threw away his bag and said he had no friends…"

Arthur expertly threaded his way through the throng of babbling students in the hallway, wanting to get to the bike racks to meet Merlin again. He reached them before Merlin and unhooked his bike, waiting for Merlin to show up so they could ride together.

He scanned the sea of students for the familiar mess of black hair, and finally spotted him. He was close when he was shoved from behind, sprawling onto the rough sidewalk. Books and papers scattered everywhere and he scrambled desperately to retrieve them.

Arthur stepped forward angrily to defend the boy, when he recognized who pushed him. It was Valiant. Lancelot and Leon stood behind him, laughing hysterically like Merlin's misery was the most comical thing in the world. When Merlin finished stuffing his papers back into his bag, Leon yanked it from his hands and through it into a puddle nearby. Merlin's eyes went wide with panic, and Arthur knew all of his drawings had just been ruined.

"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" Valiant snarled, glaring down at the boy. Merlin was still kneeling on the ground when he looked up at him with confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"You have no right to talk to Arthur," he growled. Did they even realize said blonde was right behind them? "A fag like _you_ doesn't have friends."__

"He yelled that he did and he looked around,  
Tried getting up but they pushed him on down,  
That's when he saw me, called out my name,  
And I turned my back, and just walked away…"

"But I do!" Merlin cried, eyes snapping to the bike rack. He attempted to stand but Lancelot and Leon shoved him back down.

When he raised his head again he stared directly into Arthur's eyes. "Arthur! You're my friend, right?"

Valiant, Leon, and Lancelot all glowered at him threateningly. Arthur was torn. If he said yes, then he would be branded as a nerd and be ridiculed for the rest of his life, losing all his friends in the process. But if he said no, then Merlin would be hurt.

His throat constricted painfully. Arthur sighed, hopped on his bike, and rode away, ignoring the guilt that lay like a rock on his heart. He heard Merlin cry out his name, and his gut twisted excruciatingly, but he didn't turn back.

"_Yeah I turned my back, and just walked away…"_

Arthur stopped singing here, his voice too choked up to continue any further. His fingers slid off the keys as he got lost in his memories. Silence echoed throughout the bar as they waited patiently for him to continue. Finally, eyes shining with unshed tears, he inhaled deeply and replaced his fingers.

"_I was young and caught in the crowd,  
I didn't know then what I know now.  
I was dumb, and I was proud,  
And I'm sorry.  
If I could go back, do it again,  
I'd be someone you could call friend,  
Please, please, believe that I'm sorry…"_

Arthur allowed his hands to collapse to his sides once again and he balled them into fists, trying to keep his emotion below the surface. The audience erupted into cheers, and he smiled awkwardly, standing from the bench to exit behind the curtain.

He remained backstage the rest of the night. He heard other singers, but didn't really listen. He hadn't felt so terrible for his actions since the actual day three years ago in his senior year of high school. Eventually the bar began to clear out and the instruments were removed from the stage. Running a hand through his hair with a sigh, he emerged from the curtains and jumped off the edge of the stage into the group of small tables. He threaded his way carefully toward the exit.

He was passing the bar counter when a hand firmly grasped his forearm. He started and whipped around. He didn't recognize the man. He had deep blue eyes, and unruly dark hair. His skin was pale, and he hadn't grown into his long limbs—

With a jolt Arthur identified the man.

"Merlin?" he whispered. The familiar stone of guilt rested upon his rapidly beating heart like all those years ago.

The other man nodded, his face blank. "I heard your song," he finally said.

Arthur tensed and realized Merlin was still holding his arm. His eyes flicked down and he swallowed loudly. Merlin released his arm, his abnormally large ears turning a light shade of pink.

Merlin coughed and said, "I liked it."

Arthur searched his face for any sign of dishonesty. Finding none, he nodded politely and thanked him.

An awkward silence grew between them, much like when they were younger.

"I forgive you," Merlin said suddenly. Arthur's gaze snapped up to him from where he had been studying his shoes like they were the most interesting thing in the world.

"Really?" he asked breathlessly.

Merlin nodded, his lips quirking upwards slightly.

Arthur tilted his head to the bar beside them. "Drink?"

Merlin snorted. "God save the Queen, the great Arthur Pendragon is buying a simpleton a drink!"

And thus was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

**Please take a minute to review and tell me what you think!**


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